States of Being
The Center for Coaching & Leading
Founder, Linda Belans, Ed.D.
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The National Equity Project developed a user-friendly set of transformational norms. Note that we only need a few norms in order to guide our actions:
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Show up (or choose to be present). [Ex: Be prepared. No multi-tasking; limit technology.]
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Pay attention (to heart and meaning). [Ex: Listen actively, with compassion, without judgment.]
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Tell the truth (without blame or judgment) [Ex: Be Bold. Make it situational, not personal.]
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Be Open to outcome (not attached to outcome because it can change)​.
A transformational end in mind we strive for is that at the close of a meeting or interaction, colleagues and students feel heard and seen, and are energized to continue working toward commonly shared mission, vision, and goals. This can happen when there are intentional norms. Here are more examples of norms.
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We are all accountable to the norms
Note that States of Being or 7 Essential Questions can become norms.
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Living the Norms
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Once you have agreed on your norms, it’s wise to begin meetings with members offering examples of what each norm might look like in action.
At a meeting midpoint, ask for a quick check-in to determine if the team is living the norms, cite a couple of specific examples of how, and what you might need to adjust.
Repeat the process at the end of each meeting to make sure the team is actively honoring and adjusting. Norms are dynamic and can change as the need arises.
As time progresses and the team has internalized the norms, these steps can be brief.
The process of developing and living norms leads us through the arduous process of self-discovery and self-actualization as we become more authentic and daring. When meetings are sacred spaces, particularly when the organization’s work is people-centered with high stakes, it becomes possible to intentionally live its mission and values, and advance its collective vision.
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Norms are community agreements. They reflect what we value. Whether derived by decision or default, norms become part of an organization’s DNA. It makes sense then to actively and intentionally identify how we want to treat and interact with each other, how we want to manifest a fulfilling and mindful approach to work and life, and be fully present to possibilities. Intentional norms bring out the best in us and ultimately create an environment that fosters creativity, rich thinking, and a collaborative culture, anchored in a sense of belonging.
Developing Norms
To develop norms together, we start with the belief that people want to live and work in nourishing environments where they feel valued, and their voices can be heard – where we can agree and disagree, and speak our truth respectfully, without dismantling trust. Where we can make equity demands unapologetically, without penalty.
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How do we develop group norms and how do we get everyone on the same page? This is a question rooted in transformation, one that drives the way we interact. For example, a transformation we seek is a commitment to being fully present in meetings because we understand this creates conditions to listen, reflect, and respond. To foster this interaction, we agree to limit electronic media during meetings so that colleagues give their full attention to each other.
We can begin our norms discussion with our team, group or students by asking:
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How do we want to be present together? How do we want to interact with each other?
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What expectations do we have of each other when we're together, including when we're teaching and learning?
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What do we need to agree on to foster authentic conversations anchored in equity, to make sure that we’re all actively listening, and are respectful of each other’s ideas and styles so that we can move the conversation forward?
For example, can we agree that we will share air time, listen well and not interrupt? That to remain present, we will be low-tech? And so on.
This can be a rich discussion during which the team’s, group's, and students' values emerge and become the focal point. It’s important that everyone feels comfortable with the norms they collectively create, understanding that norms are dynamic and can be altered and added to along the way as they move from prescription to practice.
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